George Patel
Feeding a table that disagrees with itself
Almost every British household has one now: the vegetarian who gave up meat years ago, the guest who is gluten-free since a diagnosis, and the uncle who wants crispy shredded beef and nothing else. Ordering a Chinese takeaway for that group is not difficult, but it does need a little thought before anyone reaches for the phone. British-Chinese food is genuinely well suited to it. The menu is built around dishes set in the middle of the table, with rice and noodles as the neutral backdrop everyone can share. The trick is knowing which of those shared dishes truly suit everybody, and which only look as though they do.
Ask about sauces, stock and frying oil
Three questions will save more grief than any amount of menu reading. Whether you are ringing up or standing at the counter, ask them plainly.
- Sauces. Oyster sauce is not vegetarian, and it turns up in dishes described as mixed vegetables or beancurd with greens. So do fish sauce, shrimp paste and XO sauce. Ask whether they can use a mushroom-based vegetarian oyster sauce, or whether the dish can be finished with light soy and a pinch of sugar instead. Most kitchens will happily say yes.
- Stock. Plenty of vegetable dishes are finished with chicken stock out of habit rather than necessity. Ask directly: is the stock in the mixed vegetables chicken or vegetable? If it is chicken, ask for the dish made with water and a splash of soy, or pick something cooked to order instead.
- Frying oil. This is the one people forget. If a kitchen has a single fryer, spring rolls, prawn toast and battered chicken have all been through it before your salt and pepper tofu. For a strict vegetarian or anyone with a serious allergy, that matters. Ask whether there is a separate fryer, or whether the dish can be shallow-fried in a clean pan.
The dishes that genuinely work for everyone
Once you know the answers, these are the reliable choices for a mixed table.
- Salt and pepper tofu — crisp, generous and popular with meat eaters, provided the fryer question is settled.
- Aubergine in garlic sauce — often vegetarian, but check both the oyster sauce and the stock.
- Steamed fish with ginger and spring onion — naturally free of gluten if you ask them to hold the soy drizzle or use a wheat-free one.
- Plain stir-fried greens — pak choi or choi sum with garlic, requested without oyster sauce.
- Steamed rice and rice noodles — ho fun and mei fun are made from rice, so they are gluten-free. Egg noodles, chow mein and dumplings are not.
- Roast meats — char siu, roast duck or crispy pork keep the meat eaters happy and sit happily alongside everything else.
Where the hidden gluten and fish lurk
Light and dark soy sauce almost always contain wheat, and they season nearly everything. Shaoxing cooking wine often does too. Watch for the batter on crispy shredded beef, sweet and sour chicken balls and prawn crackers, and for wonton and spring roll wrappers. Satay brings peanuts into the room, which is worth flagging if anyone at the table has a nut allergy. Vegetarian symbols printed on a menu are a helpful guide rather than a guarantee, so it is always worth confirming.
Packing it so nothing gets mixed up
Ask for sauces in separate tubs — sweet and sour, curry, black bean, chilli oil. This does three things: it lets the gluten-free guest avoid a sauce made with soy or wheat flour, it keeps crisp things crisp on the journey home, and it lets people season their own rice to taste. If one person's food must be kept apart, say so clearly and ask for that container to be labelled. It takes the kitchen ten seconds and spares you a stressful unpacking at the table.
A worked order for four
Here is a shape that tends to please everybody: a quarter of crispy duck for the meat eaters, salt and pepper tofu, aubergine with garlic sauce made without oyster sauce, steamed pak choi, a plate of stir-fried ho fun with beansprouts, one char siu, and two portions of steamed rice. Curry sauce and sweet and sour sauce on the side. Everyone takes a little of several things, the gluten-free guest sticks to the rice noodles, greens and tofu, and nobody feels they are eating a consolation prize. Add a portion of chips if the table runs that way — this is a British takeaway, after all.
